16 Akciónap a Nők Elleni Erőszak Ellen

Exposing the Carefully Hidden Truth of Violence against Women:

A Journey from Self-Healing to Awareness aising, Mobilizing Others, through Art

It is the 25th of November today. This day was chosen by the international community to commemorate the lives of two famous women, fighting for freedom and democracy in the other side of the world; killed by the authorities. Soon, this day became the first day of the 16 days of Global Activism against Gender-based Violence. It now includes violence against women committed by state or individuals, in the public or in the private sphere.

This wonderful exhibition takes us behind the scenes: it takes us to the private sphere, the most private we know: intimate relationships, where violence should be unknown. Yet, it is known for too many. In Hungary, about 440.000 women are beaten by their partners, ex-partners, or men who think they should be partners. Each year. This very minute the number is likely to be thousands. Each year at least 70 men kill women finding all kinds of excuses and mitigating circumstances for their alleged temper. Many of these men find accomplices along the way that lead to killing. Law enforcement officials who share the view that men are entitled to have power and control over their families. Doctors, who feel it a burden to have to go to court if they report on the physical abuse of a patient. Child protection authorities that uphold the belief that a mother is guilty of not protecting her children even if the authorities are unwilling to provide the slightest protection to her from the violence she and her children endure. Judges who, in the courtoom and in their rulings, reinforce the power imbalance in society as it is echoed in families. Legislators, who refuse to create laws that provide true and effective protection to victims, but instead struggle to uphold and produce laws that reinforce the prejudice, the lie, that women and children don’t tell the truth when they report about the violence they suffer at home. As a result, less than 10.000 of domestic violence cases result in the start of criminal procedures yearly. Each year at least 430.000 women and their children suffer totally unheard: silenced by these beliefs, false assumptions, and lies.

Partnership violence is surrounded by forces that want to silence the victims. Forces that want to deny support and protection to survivors, and want to downplay, or outright eliminate, the responsibility of the perpetrators.

This exhibition is a force in the opposite direction. Judit Törös, this strong woman who did not allow anybody to silence her, a survivor herself, lets us see how art can be a way to healing. But she shows us more than just her own road to healing: through her art, she offers us the honor to be witnesses. It is not easy to be a witness to partnership violence. It is not easy to listen.

Judit asked me to thank Béla Galló, her psychologist, for his unfailing support for her. Both on her personal and innermost journey to find her safety and freedom, and with actually organizing exhibitions of her work.

I would also like to thank him on my behalf: it is most unusual to see a psychologist who believes in acting, and then, in fact, acts. I do hope his example will be followed by more and more support persons, because survivors need all of you, all of us!

And supporters, more often than not, give up more easily than the victims themselves. To be a witness is difficult. Believe me, I know: I have been a volunteer on the helpline of NANE Women’s Rights Association for ten years now. In the cases of many victims, I have seen friends, family, and professionals who could not bear to be witnesses. This exhibition is therefore not just healing and testimony for the survivor, it provides a way to act for all those who see it. Be witnesses, and spread the word! Partership violence is not a private matter. Victims and survivors should not be left to stand the blows and the prejudices alone.

Join this movement for justice by supporting one survivor and not giving up on her, or by supporting an organization, and join it by paying very close attention to these pictures: they are testimony to our society’s largest and ugliest hidden truth.

Thank you!

Judit Wirth

NANE Women’s Rights Association